jon-kate-gosselin-lead

Remember when we believed this photo?

After last night’s charade of a season premiere, it seems that Jon and Kate are rapidly heading towards the legal end of their marriage. Jesus, let it not be so.

While there’s news on the interwebs that Kate’s power play for two more seasons will land the couple in marriage counseling (Jesus, please don’t let it be Dr. Phil!), as viewers all we can do is to pray for the couple and learn from them.

Because while you might not be able to stop theirs, you can still stop your divorce.

  • Put your faith first- You know where Kate’s traveling? To speak at churches. You know where she’s signing books? Sure looks like a lot of Christian book stores. If you’re gonna follow Jesus, count the cost and follow him. Get in a church. Get in spiritual family. Where’s their pastor? Their small group leader? Get these people in your life and give them authority to speak to you on issues. No one, NO ONE, is above the need to be brought down a peg or two when they’ve “lost the plot,” to quote @adriancrawford. If you’re going say you belong to Jesus, you need to be brought into account when you’re disobeying his word. All divorce involves some sin.
  • Stop putting the kids first- That’s right, I said it. You wanna really put the kids first? Put your spouse above them. You think the kids want riches and money above a mom and dad who love each other? He@$ no! If you want to put them first, give them the security of knowing that mom and dad will always be together, always love each other. In today’s broken world, what could be a greater gift to the kids? When my wife and I hug and kiss in front of our 14 month old daughter she starts smiling, laughing and giggling. Kelly laid her head on my shoulder in the car yesterday and Caroline went crazy in the back seat. You think she’d rather have money than that?!
  • Stay close to family- While their new house might be better for them space-wise, they moved away from her brother and sister-in-law. Pre-fame people can usually speak with greater weight than those who come in post-fame. The importance of generational family building in our society is largely ignored.
  • Get consensus on family roles- I’m not going to delve into male/female roles in marriage, but point out how clear it was Jon and Kate weren’t on the same page about the future of their family last season, and what role each would play. Don’t move forward if you’re not together! Wait, pray, get input, talk, wait, pray…just don’t move forward if you’re not on the same page. Try this line: “We’re not doing anything if we don’t AGREE it’s the best thing for our family. TLC can wait. The money can wait. We’ll never get a second chance at being a family.” Now take out TLC and insert your family’s situation.

That’s all for now. If you have issues bubbling in your marriage go put a stop to them right now. Have the conversation. It’s not going to go away. Money won’t. A job won’t. Humility, honesty, communication and confession will. You can stop your divorce.

PS- If you’re in a troubled relationship and would like pastoral advice, I would be more than happy to help.